Where it all started…
I took a play therapy training in 2014 by Lisa Dion, from Boulder Colorado. She started the Synergetic Play Therapy™ Institute. She went over what regulation is and how our bodies naturally respond to challenges or situations.
When we feel like we don’t have control over our emotions, regulating our bodies is a nice place to start in gaining control of how we feel. Our bodies are a good indicator for how we are feeling even before we may be able to name the emotion. For instance, I tend to hold a lot of tension in my shoulders and jaw and sometimes it takes me realizing I have tension in my body before the lightbulb goes on and tells me “you are stressed”.
Let’s start with how our bodies respond to situations or challenges and then we will discuss what to do to regulate our bodies.
Nervous System Regulation and Dysregulation
“All symptoms of dysregulation arise out of the misperceptions of the events in our lives. When we change our perceptions, we change the symptoms in our nervous system. It is wise to master of how to change our perceptions and how to manage the symptoms that arise in our bodies to help return us to a more regulated state”
~Lisa Dion, LPC, RPT-S
Your nervous system works in 3 ways
Regulated nervous system (Mindfulness/Attached to self)
Ability to think logically and clearly
Display a wide range of emotional expression
Feeling “grounded”
Able to notice breath
Stable sleep cycles
Awareness of mind and body
Able to communicate clearly
Able to make eye contact
Able to make conscious choices
Hypo-Arousal Symptoms (Freeze/fall asleep)
Helplessness
Inability to set boundaries
Tired
Non-expressive
Numbing
Lack of motivation
Lethargic
Emotional Constriction
Isolation/Depression
Suicidal/Dissociation
Dulled capacity to feel significant events
Hyper-Arousal Symptoms (Fight/Flight)
Increased heart rate
“Pounding” sensation in the head
Overwhelmed/disorganized
Habitual defensiveness
Aggression
Hyper-alert
Hyper-vigilance
Excessive motor activity
Uncontrolled rage
High irritability
Overwhelms others
Anxious
All 3 states of the nervous system represent health. The idea is if you notice yourself go into hypo or hyper arousal then you do activities to re-regulate your body to get back to your baseline.
We all participate in regulating activities without even consciously knowing it. I like to call these our natural coping skills.
Below is a list of regulating activities (this is not a comprehensive list)
Bounce on a yoga ball
Drink through a straw
Eat crunchy snacks
Massages
Deep pressure on arms and legs (slowly apply pressure down arms and legs)
Take a bath or a shower
Wrap up in a blanket
Sing
Classical music if hyper aroused
Rock or fast paced music if hypo aroused
Carry or push heavy objects around
Isometrics (push hands together or wall pushups)
Walk quickly
Doodle
Fidget with ball or play dough
Put a cold or hot towel on face
Dim lights if hyper aroused or increase light if hypo aroused
Read a book
Yoga
Move, move, move your body
Name what is happening in your body (my stomach hurts, my jaw feels tight)
Breathe-deep breath in count to 4, hold for 4, breathe out count to 4
Maybe as you read through the list you noticed ones you already do. My daughter a few months ago told me, “mom, I don’t know what it is about drinking through a straw. Maybe it’s how my lips move in and out, but it is so soothing and relaxing”. My instant thought to myself was, “That’s a way your body is regulating itself”.
Another example is I notice that if I eat some pretzels or carrots when I am feeling anxious or pressured during the day I can instantly feel my jaw loosening and I can feel my whole body slow down.
Observe which ones you typically do and try a couple new ones and see what fits for you. Paying attention to how you feel before and after the activity. The idea is to practice these when you are not only dys-regulated, but when you feel regulated as well. To help decrease the length and intensity of being dys-regulated.
With care,
Alison
Alison is the owner of Hartman Therapy in Colorado. She offers online counseling helping tired, overwhelmed moms, sad teens, and frustrated parents. Alison has been working with adolescents, families, and adults for the past 8 years helping to build healthy, resilient families. She specializes in perinatal mental health and teen girl depression and anxiety.