The past 2 weeks have felt like a whirlwind and it seems like rules and precautions are changing by the hour. I think everyone is feeling uneasiness and worry and that is okay. What we are all experiencing is historic and is shifting our sense of normalcy and routine. There are a lot of unknowns and when we have unknowns this can lead to fear and we tend to fill in the unknowns with worst case scenarios.
We are in this together and no one is not affected by this pandemic.
A day before schools were cancelled, my daughter was sharing with me that her hands were shaky all day. I asked her why and she said, “I am worried about the coronavirus”. That one hit close to home for sure, my little first grader still trying to figure out life and school is telling me how scared she is. I tried to create some sense of safety with her, we talked about what she was afraid of more in depth and what her dad and I were doing in order to keep her safe. We also discussed what our days would look like if school were cancelled. This way she had some sort of idea what was going on and what steps we were taking as a family. Still there is this overarching sense of anxiety around.
Our bodies naturally respond to challenging situations by engage our nervous system in flight or fight. Since we are experiencing this crisis it's natural for some of us to panic, while others may shut down.
Below are some ways to manage and regulate through this crisis we are in. They are not going take away your anxiety, but will help you get through your day and hopefully provide some sense of control and stability.
Deep Breaths
Taking long soothing breaths throughout your day is a good way to ground yourself and create a sense of safety.
Be Honest
Share how you are feeling. It's okay to say you are scared and worried. If you have children it's also okay to tell them this, they are probably feeling it too. Have a conversation with your children and let them ask you questions. This will help them fill in their gaps in the unknown. Kids are like sponges they will feed off of your anxiety whether you realize or not they notice.
Deep Pressure
Applying pressure, using your hands to gently push on your head, arms, and legs. This one is my favorite and instantly creates a feeling of calm.
Being an external regulator
Practicing these soothing, grounding skills will help you relax and help those to relax around you. We are impacted by the nervous systems of those around us, even if they aren't saying anything. Just like, have you ever walked into a room and you can just “feel the tension”, that's your nervous system signaling how others are feeling. Practice responding, not reacting.
Create structure/new routines and a sense of normalcy where you can
Whether you have children at home or not, try to have a plan for how you will spend your day. This will help create purpose and a sense of safety, especially as we are social distancing. If you have children, share with them the plan for the day so they know what to expect.
Building regulation into and throughout your day
Regulate and take care of yourself throughout the day. It doesn't take extra time to take deep breaths or apply deep pressure. Regulating your nervous system during the day will help you feel more connected to yourself and create a sense of calm.
Remain connected with friends and family
Find ways to continue connecting with friends and family while practicing social distancing. This can be phone calls, facetime, skype, etc.
This will help feed your need for connection and create a sense of safety without relying on external input. For instance, scrolling social media or watching news updates constantly. Take breaks from this constant input of stimulus as it is probably causing increased anxiety and worry.
Additional regulating activities
Eat something crunchy
Bounce on yoga ball
Sing (can do with the kids)
Dance
Take a hot bath or shower
Drink through a straw
Wrap up in a blanket and snuggle
Play classical music if anxious, worried, hyper-aroused
Play hard rock, fast paced music if hypo-aroused, tired, and low energy
Wall push ups or push hands together
Doodle/color
Fidget with stress ball or play doh
Paint, draw
Put cold or warm towel on your face
Dim the lights
Read a book
Yoga
Pray
Move, move, move your body
Try a few of these and pay attention to how you feel afterwards.
Stay healthy, stay connected, be kind
with care,
Alison
Please reach out by phone or email if you would like to discuss if counseling would be a good option for you.
You can also call me at 970-795-2100 or email me alison@hartmantherapyco.com if you would like to talk further if this is a good option for you.
Alison is the owner of Hartman Therapy in Colorado. She offers online counseling helping tired, overwhelmed moms, sad teens, and frustrated parents. Alison has been working with adolescents, families, and adults for the past 7 years helping to build healthy, resilient families. She specializes in perinatal mental health and teen girl depression and anxiety.